Catching Mr Mittens
by PenguinBandit523
Summary: Russia finds a little kitten and takes it home. As long as the Baltics, or anyone for that matter, don't find out. No problem... if he can find it before they do...


**_One-shot, another random idea that I had. ^^' (First one for Hetalia though. :D lol) I tried to make it funny... best I can do for writing it at 4:30am. -_-' _**

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><p>Russia was known as one of the strongest, scariest nations to ever exist. He could not help the fact that he had gained this reputation, and he neither dis-credited nor encouraged it. People knew that he had a tough looking outside yet the childish face; a dark devilish side with a childish innocent side; and a strong, confident, take-on-the-world side. So with all these opposites, what could be the opposite of his powerful, self-assured persona?<p>

The answer lied with a small, helpless kitten he found outside of town one day…

He was just heading home from town with a few groceries, and a lot of vodka, when a sudden soft noise jerked him from his thoughts.

"Meow" it was barely heard, coming from side of an old rotting crate left half buried in the snow, on just the outskirts of town.

Russia looked over curiously and at first couldn't see any living thing, but a split second later the patch of white fur that had had the most perfect camouflage against the new-fallen snow moved swiftly to Ivan's side, and Russia saw curious (Not Yellow, he was surprised, but) light blue eyes peered up at him, and then the bags in his hands.

He didn't know much about cats or breeds, and he wasn't even aware that there _could _be such things as a cat with pure white fur, let alone why one would be in Russia. He didn't really care to think about such a trivial thing though, the cat was here, and that was that. It looked starved to death, he noted.

Ivan had bought some meat while in town, he could spare a few bites to this little cat. He took some out of the bag and placed it on the snow. The cat looked at it hesitantly and sniffed the air.

"Come on little one, it is good. And you are so tiny; you'll need all you can get to grow stronger, da?" He coaxed the cat for several minutes before it took a few steps forward, and then went for the meat. The little cat wolfed down the food so fast, Ivan wasn't sure the creature had even tasted it.

"You are quite small, do you know that? I suppose it's because you are a kitten yet." Vanya frowned and looked around. "Where is your mother cat, or any of your siblings, little one?"

The cat finished and watched Russia curiously. Ivan held out his hand cautiously, and the cat was frightened at first, but then grew relaxed and moved toward the hand to sniff it. That was when Ivan saw that the kitten had a limp in its leg.

"That's why I suppose, you couldn't keep up and they abandoned you." The kitten stopped sniffing and must have decided that Russia was okay because the cat then rubbed the side of his head against Ivan's hand and purred. "Still, you've survived this long and still look strong… but, you may not survive the winter. It has just started after all, and I know how bitter cold and unforgiving it can be."

The cat merely continued rubbing and purring, and Ivan scratched and petted the head back.

'Well damn, just because I am a powerful nation doesn't mean I don't have a conscience… or at least a weakness for kittens.' With that thought, he spent the next few minutes gaining the kitten's complete trust before holding it in his coat with one hand; keeping it warm, and out of sight until he got to his room.

X3

Russia dropped the bags off on the kitchen table, leaving the rest to Toris, and ran back to his room to quickly deposit the little cat on his bed. It meowed at him in a whiny fashion, as if complaining about the sudden loss of warmth.

Ivan just smiled and went to the bathroom to retrieve the first aid kit and went wash-cloth. He sat down calmly next to the kitten and slowly began cleaning the fur of any dirt, grime, or blood that stained it. Next, he took a look at its paws, making sure it wasn't just the one back one that needed mending, and bandaged up its sprained leg.

The cat looked even more like the new fallen snow now. It really was a beautiful cat.

"I suppose calling you 'snowball' or something like that would be too overdone, da?" The cat blinked at him, as if to agree. "You seem like a smart cat, what do you want to be named?"

Ivan knew that the animal didn't know what he was saying, but it felt nice to talk to him. (He checked while cleaning him, it was male.)

The kitten suddenly pounced at something that was on the desk across the room. He looked to see the cat playing a pair of colorfully knitted mittens. Ivan never used them, they were a gift, and weren't something he'd want to go parading around in, but at least now they seemed to serve a purpose other than crowd around his working desk.

"You really seem to be enjoying those," Ivan said to the cat. The kitten was so small that he fit his entire body in the one mitten, then peeked out at Russia as if playing 'peek a boo'. Ivan laughed at this, "It reminds me of that children's poem I heard once. 'Three Little Kittens' who lost their mittens. I don't remember where it originated from. But I remember it:

"Three little kittens they lost their mittens, and they began to cry,

'Oh mother dear, we sadly fear that we have lost our mittens.'

'What! Lost your mittens, you naughty kittens!

Then you shall have no pie.'

'Meeow, meeow, meeow, now we shall have no pie.'

The three little kittens they found their mittens,

And they began to cry,

'Oh mother dear, see here, see here

For we have found our mittens.'

'Put on your mittens, you silly kittens

And you shall have some pie'

'Meeow, meeow, meeow,

Now let us have some pie.'

The three little kittens put on their mittens

And soon ate up the pie,

'Oh mother dear, we greatly fear

That we have soiled our mittens.'

'What! soiled you mittens, you naughty kittens!'

Then they began to cry, 'Meeow, meeow, meeow'

Then they began to sigh.

The three little kittens they washed their mittens

And hung them out to dry,

'Oh mother dear, do you not hear

That we have washed our mittens.'

'What! washed your mittens, you are good kittens.'

But I smell a rat close by,

'Meeow, meeow, meeow' we smell a rat close by..."

Ivan paused and wondered why and how he had even remembered something like that in the first place; it wasn't a very good poem in his opinion anyway. He looked back over at the funny little cat.

"Such a silly kitten, Mr. Mittens, you are." He joked; then the cat paused in his playing and meowed at him again. Russia stared for a few seconds, "Mr. Mittens? Such a childish name… and yet, suiting, in a way."

Well, the cat seemed to like it anyway. Now he really hoped that no one discovered this cat though, if just to avoid letting them know the embarrassing name he had given it. Oh well, I'm sure it won't be that hard to keep this cat out of sight.

"Okay then, Mr. Mittens will be your new name then." He smiled at the kitten.

Then an impromptu knock sounded at the door, "Mr. Russia?" It was Toris's voice, "You have a phone call from your boss."

'I must make sure that this door stays closed.' He thought to himself, should he warn the Baltics? That might be too suspicious, and it's not like anyone ever enters his room anyway… the kitten should be fine.

"Alright Lithuania, I'll be right out." He called out to the other nation. Then he turned to Mr. Mittens once more to see him snoozing in the colorful mitten. 'He should be fine.'

Russia then headed out the door, sternly closing it behind him immediately, and going towards the phone.

Mr. Mittens, however, only slept for about fifteen minutes before deciding to explore the room: batting objects across the floor, pouncing on furniture, scratching against the wooden floors.

It wasn't his fault that Latvia had heard the noise and thought it might have been a live captive or something, (Honestly, the imagination on these guys) trying to escape. So he opened the door slowly and looked around, he didn't see anyone, and the possibility of invisible prisoners was very low, so he figured it was his imagination.

This meanwhile, gave Mr. Mittens the perfect opportunity for a new adventure, and he bolted out the door before Latvia could leave. The young nation of course heard the sudden scamper of footprints go past him and almost had a panic attack, so he sprinted out of there as soon as he could.

Russia, meanwhile, was still on the phone with his boss discussing an error in the count of something or another. Ivan told him that he would look into it and all of that… hanging up a few minutes later. But before he could get back to his little kitten, Toris had ushered him to dinner, requesting that he eat it before it gets cold. Ivan figured that Mr. Mittens could wait a little while longer; after all, cat naps were actually rather long when it came to real cats.

Sitting down to dinner and making small talk, everything was normal, until Ivan felt something rub against him leg form under the table. 'Oh No… it couldn't be, he shouldn't have been able to get out.' He panicked, silently begging the little creature not to let out a 'meow' while everyone was still present. The rubbing stopped about a minute later, but that brought everything _but_ comfort to the Russian. 'He could rub against one of them, or walk out from under the table and they could see him. Ohhh, how did he get out?'

Russia ate the rest of his food in record time, but 'accidently' dropped his fork under the table, and went to go retrieve it. Under the table, he looked around for the little cat. 'He was just here a minute ago, where could he have gone so fast?' He wondered.

He saw a flash of white to his left, making its way out from under the table and into the living room. Russia cursed, but luckily could find him now since he had scarfed down his food already.

He tossed the fork back on the table and shouted a quick, 'I have to attend to something' before swiftly making his way into the other room.

He made little whispering and clicking noising trying to get the cat to come to him. 'Even with a bad leg he can still move quickly, so I must catch him the moment I see him' he thought. He saw white head behind the TV and raced over to it, basically crashing into it, and was trying to claw his way behind it. "Mr. Mittens~" he whispered behind there, "Please come out."

"Who are you talking to?" Asked a voice from behind him; it took all of his power not to scream from both the sudden presence and basically being caught in the act. He backed out and came face to face with a curious Estonia.

"Um, the wires; the TV was having some issues and I was asking the loose plug to 'please come out' so that I can fix it… It's all fixed now!" He gave a fake smile and his checks were tinted red with embarrassment.

Eduard shrugged and backed up blindly to sit on the couch, and didn't see the white little kitten sitting on top of the cushions staring at them. Ivan, however, did.

"Wait!" He yelled frantically, and went over and grabbed Estonia away from the couch, "I need you to double check for me, t-that I did it correctly. Da?" He shoved Estonia's face behind the TV, and turned back to see that the little kitten had leapt off the couch and was making its way down the hall. 'Damnit' Russia cursed.

"Mr. Russia, everything looks fine-" Estonia's slightly muffled voice started out.

"Oh, please just check again. I-I must go do something again, I'll see you later Estonia!" Russia called before running off again.

'Now where did that little monster go?' Ivan thought to himself. Russia saw a little white tail enter through the slightly ajar door to the laundry room. 'Those machines are like death traps for little kittens!'

He ran inside after the little fuzz ball but lost sight of him not long after. Ivan checked the machines at first, taking out wet clothes from the washing machine and dropping them on to the floor, searching for the little white speck. 'Not there. Where else? Okay~ hamper,' he started pulling out clothes and literally tossing them over his shoulder and all over the room. 'Mr. Mittens, where are you?'

He then heard footsteps and gasp, "Russia, **what happened**?" it asked slowly, from shock. It was Toris again.

"I um…" Ivan was embarrassed, to say the least, not wanting to explain the situation, but not wanting to look like he was becoming a full time psycho either. "…If I said that I was drunk right now…?

Lithuania just face-palmed and told him to go. Toris didn't believe him obviously, but wouldn't question it.

"But Toris, I can't-"

"Can't What?" He demanded.

But Ivan saw Mr. Mittens head back out the door at that same instant and had to go after him.

"I can't … just stand here and, um, not think up a way to make it up to you. I'm gonna go do that right now!" Then started a chase between him and Mr. Mittens; luckily he pretty much kept out of the Baltics' ways for the rest of the day.

Eventually, of all places, Ivan found himself standing on a ladder towards the roof, trying to call to the kitten. "Mr. Mittens, You Must Come Here Now. You have a bad leg and cannot jump off safely. I know that snow is soft, but it is still dangerous." (Says the one who jumped out of a plane without a Parachute.)

The kitten just meowed at him and went on walking the edge of the roof, but luckily towards Russia.

'Maybe I'm thinking about this too much, I mean the event of him losing his balance is highly unlikely…'

And yet, the snow on the gutter that the cat was walking on apparently adds to the weight, because it collapsed, and in a half a second, Russia reacted and dove through the air, grabbed the kitten, and shielded him from the landing that greeted them as they plummeted into the snow.

Ivan took deep breaths trying to calm down. He had landed on his back with the kitten pressed up against his chest, and his arms used as shields for the little fuzz ball.

After a few seconds, he held the little cat to his face examining him, he seemed just fine. "Oh thank God you're okay." He told the cat; he then placed him on his chest and sighed. The kitten walked up to his face and gently licked his nose. "Okay, okay you're forgiven Mr. Mittens."

"Mr. Mittens…?" A voice from behind questioned playfully. Ivan froze; then stood up with the kitten and turned around to see all three Baltics standing there – Latvia looking oddly relieved Estonia with an amused smile and Lithuania with both of those features.

The voice continued, "So when where you going to introduce us to your little friend there?" It was Toris's voice.

Ivan felt his face burn for what felt like the millionth time that day and started explaining.

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><p><strong><em>I have no idea why I decided the name Mr. Mittens, I guess I just thought it'd be kind of a funny name for Russia to choose for a cat. But I don't think I'd be surprised though, if there was really a time when he named a cat that. xD <em>**

**_Review Please~! :3 _**


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